In the previous issue of the Good News we shared a very common story of Zack and Ally, a couple living the Marriage Selfie life; appearances say they are amazingly happy in their marriage and successful in life. Sadly, social media has allowed us, and sometimes pressures us to create “fake news” images and stories of relationship wellness and fulfillment; pictures of what we long and hope for versus the reality of where many of us live. I recently had a man share that his wife posted a picture of their family vacation that looked like they were blissfully happy. He said he was dumbfounded when he saw it on his feed because it was one of the darkest days in their marriage.
Like Zack and Ally, most of us, can relate to driving to church and fighting on the way but once the car door is open we are all smiles and the fruits of the spirit is in full bloom. We’re human and flawed so it happens. The challenge is how do we guard our marriage from a moment of “fake news” becoming a lifestyle of “fake news marriage selfies” that gives birth to a hardness of heart toward our spouse? Hardening in this sense meaning unresponsive, lacking sensitivity or spiritual perception.
As followers and seekers of Christ, we know that often what we feel, think, and the way we respond to our spouse isn’t Christlike. The Holy Spirit convicts us when we’re out of step. He doesn’t keep us guessing about His will. The Scriptures are full of wisdom of what we should do but it’s our choice to listen and heed to His leading. If we’re not reading our Bibles but we’re attending worship services we are still hearing it from the pulpit. We know we’re supposed to be physically and emotionally faithful to our spouse, we know we shouldn’t speak with contempt and disdain to our spouse, we know what we shouldn’t do, we know God hates divorce, we know what we’re supposed to do. We know our marriage is supposed to be a reflection of the image of God. We want things to be different but we don’t know how. Do we live emotionally distant lives? Do we just suffer in silence? Do we grit it up and gut it out? Is that what God wants for us? Is that what obedience to Christ looks like? For life to be so short it feels very long in an empty marriage.
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Lisa May is the Executive Director of South Florida for Relate Well Live Well. Relate Well Live Well exists to strengthen marriages and families through healthy relationship education beginning in middle school through senior adults. For information visit rwlw.org