Are you still flirting with each other, even though you are married? Maybe you’ve been married for a few years or a few decades. Whatever the case, the spontaneity, excitement, and general panic you felt on your first few dates have likely been replaced by familiarity, comfort, and a new brand of apathy associated with getting into the marriage rut. It’s natural.
GO ON … BE A FLIRT!
Here’s a great reminder for all who are married: “’For whatever reason, when we’re married, we don’t think we have to or need to do the things we did when we were dating,’ says Fran Greene, a couple’s counselor and author of The Flirting Bible. ‘Somehow when the commitment is there, we feel like we can say, ‘Thank God, I don’t have to do that anymore.’ But it’s the opposite. Shadeen Francis, a marriage, and family therapist based in Philadelphia, agrees. ‘Quite often, in couples I work with, the issue is not that partners don’t know how to flirt — they forget to make a habit of it, and they become rusty.’” (Jeff Ashworth, from Fatherly.com article)
HEALTH/BRAIN BENEFITS OF FLIRTING 🙂
Flirting activates adrenaline: There is a direct link between healthy flirting and stimulation of the nervous system.Flirting encourages blood flow and leads to the release of adrenaline. This increase is also good for our ability to stay alert, to concentrate, and to be sensitive to touch.
What does flirting do to the brain?
Your dopamine levels spike. Noreoinephrine is released, causing your heart to race. Serotonin-the key hormone that regulates mood, well-being, and happiness-floods your brain. When we’re flirting with someone. We operate on emotion and instinct.
HOW DO YOU FLIRT WITH YOUR SPOUSE?
Look at flirting as anything you say or do that makes your husband/wife smile at you in a way that makes you smile back. It’s usually personal and something no one else in the room knows is going on but you. Flirting takes stealth, which is why it’s so much fun.” (Debi Walter, from Theromanticvineyard.com article, “Flirting with Your Spouse 101”)
PUT INTO PRACTICE
This week be intentional about flirting with your spouse. Try it in a crowded room or even over dinner.
BONUS: FLIRT IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN
Even though they may react with something like ‘that’s gross,’ it will reinforce a sense of love!
“I belong to my love, and his desire is for me.” -Song of Songs 7:10